Creating Space for Your Identity in Motion

When I started my own coaching and consulting business, I thought the hard part would be the logistics - bookkeeping, marketing, business development, pricing and contracts.

It wasn't.

The hard part was figuring out who I was without the title and the team. For years, my professional identity was tied to the company I worked for and the job I was doing.

Becoming a solopreneur meant building a new one from scratch and being honest about which parts of the old me still fit, and which ones I'd outgrown.

That experience, combined with the research I've been doing on identity and transitions, has shaped how I work with clients today.

Identity in transition is about what you hold on to AND what you let go of.

When things shift, it can be very discombobulating, even when we are excited about what's ahead. 

The people I see move through transitions well do three things consistently:

1. They experiment. They try things on. They don't wait for clarity before they act — they act to find clarity. Small, low-stakes experiments are how identity actually updates.

2. They talk to people who don't know them well. Friends and longtime colleagues see who you've been. New people see who you're becoming. Both perspectives matter, but the second one is often the missing piece.

3. They let go to make room. You can't stack a new identity on top of an old one. Something has to be released — a story, a title, a way of being, an old version of "I'm the one who…" — to create space for what's next.

For the leaders I work with, this work is especially important. You've often built your worth on being reliable, consistent and the one who delivers. That identity is real and earned. And sometimes it's the thing keeping you from being heard at the next level, or from acting on what you actually want.

A few questions to sit with:

• What part of your current identity has served you well — and may now be limiting you?

• Where are you waiting for clarity before you act, when an experiment would tell you more?

• Who could you talk to this month who doesn't already have a fixed picture of who you are?

• What might you need to let go of to make room for what's coming next?

Questions like these are the tip of the iceberg of the work I do with coaching clients during our six-month engagement. Our partnership is anchored in clear goals, accountability and ways to push past the comfort zone to try new things on for size.